When I began re-writing Ægir’s Captive, one of the biggest changes was building a solid foundation to explain how quickly and easily Kirsty surrenders first to Sven then Bjorn and Mikael. I realized that I had glossed over a major portion of the backstory…how deep her connection to these men before she even went to Tilbury. So I am writing whole new chapters – two of them- just to cover that. Of course, this is all cyber you say…and yes, I have covered that part in earlier blogs. But today I want to look at one unique part of that…challenges…homework assignments…whatever you chose to call them.
What is that you ask? In terms of a Dom/sub relationship it is little tasks (or big ones as the case maybe) that test the subs obedience and begin to form and/or strengthen the bonds between Dom and sub.
That is clear as mud, you say. Okay, then how about some examples. Wearing stockings instead of panty hose. Going without panties/knickers. Masturbating in the toilets at school/work. Butt plugs or Ben-Wah balls. The possibilities are limitless.
But why? Oh, why?
For the Dom, it is just plain old fun to think of his sub obeying him, stepping out, doing something that is either emotionally or physically uncomfortable. And for the sub? That depends upon the person and the depth of connection with the Dom. On the simplest level, it is about pure obedience…just being submissive. On a deeper level once the connection is established, it is a reminder of your Dom, his power over you and his care/protection of you.
True Freaky story…
A few weeks ago I took PanKwake to an amusement park with her carer. This young woman, who like Kirsty is NOT as innocent as she looks, had become like another of my f’ed up kids. Now one of the biggest reasons I took her with us is simple…I HATE rides. Everything that PanKwake loves…higher, faster, throw me around…I hate. So I needed someone to do all that shit with her. But this time I did more rides than I had in a very, very long time…almost half a dozen. Including two that truly challenged me…a water flume and a roller coaster (don’t go getting excited…it was the kiddie one).
This is the story of the water flume. I had actually done it last time I took PanKwake there, back in the summer with her brother. You would think that would help, right? NOT! In fact, knowing what was to come might have made it worse. So in this log boat…PanKwake was up front, our carer in the middle and me in the back. We go slowly through the canals…no problem.
Then we get to the part where it draws your boat up…two storeys at least at a 45° angle almost. Here it comes, I think. Knowing that the dark tunnel and huge drop straight down are yet to come. I literally dig my fingers into the shoulders of her carer. And begin to whisper in a low enough voice that only I and perhaps the carer can hear…”You can do this, you have a plug. You have a butt plug, you can do this.” Like it was some mantra used to f’ing meditate.
You see His challenge gave me strength and courage to do and face something I could or would not normally. In fact, those challenges often are what keep me going on bad days. If I have a big deadline looming and need to focus, then He is certain to have me do so with Mister Perfect (a purple dildo that is our fav because it resembles…TMI) inside me.
Her ice skating and trampolining, which are always our biggest challenges each week, well He is certain to have me stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey in one or both holes. Then if she has a meltdown…it reminds me that I am more that just the mother of an autistic child, which can seem pretty all consuming in that moment. It reaffirms to me that I am a woman, a submissive and that somewhere out there is a best friend and Master, who gives a damn about me enough to give me the control I need when my universe is spiralling down the drain. It calms me…so that I may calm her.
It bonds me to this man. It cements the Master/sub relationship over a long distance…or simply when He cannot be around due to work. It is that reminder of Him…and of who/what you are. It is the calm eye in a hurricane. It is the quiet in the storm. That smell of rain.
It is my salvation…and He gives me that.