Kill’em All

Right after we moved to Houston, my ex-husband, the preacher, was appalled to see a bumper sticker that read, ‘Kill’em all, let god sort’em out.’ I have never agreed with that statement. The opposite, in fact. I’m more of a save’em all type. Except it seems when it comes to characters. Heck, I killed three this week.

Believe it or not, that is not as easy as it sounds. Iggy, Anna, and Bobby were like all of us. Deeply flawed products of our environment and upbringing. That does not justify their choices. When they had them – how many Anna had is questionable. But I am a firm believer at before we judge someone, we should put ourselves in their shoes.

I had a rather heated FaceBook fight yesterday with the mother of @PanKwake’s friend. She sent me a PM about DNR orders (Do Not Resuscitate) for those with underlying conditions. Her daughter has a genetic disorder so I empathize. In fact, that was how our girls bonded, being different.

But this woman, who is quick to rant about the choices of politicians, and place blame on them for this crisis, posted photos only a couple of months ago of her and her daughter – on holiday. A two hour train journey from their home. There were almost half a dozen other people in those pictures. And not a mask in sight. Yes, they were on the beach. But they were hugging these people – no social distancing.

The point of my writing is never to tell you what to think or believe (as I have been accused of doing) but to make you think. About your life. The state of this world. And our choices. I firmly believe we still have time to change destiny of humanity and this planet.

And unlike my friend, I don’t believe it is up to government to save us all. It can’t. Nor can religion or society. Those structures are set up to do the most they can for the majority. Of course, that’s the ideal. But we all know that more often than not, they look out for the ‘stronger,’ as Grace argued with Chad and Plato wrote in the Republic.

But that is an illusion. Just as that piece of plastic or paper in wallet is. Do you realize – there are no billionaires? I had this conversation with Alan once. About Bezos. Most of what we consider his wealth is stock shares in a company that despite everything operates on a very narrow profit margin. If he were to sell those shares, the confidence in his company and the price of those stocks would plummet. It is all a deck of cards. Our whole economy and monetary system. The borders we draw between many countries and continents. None of them are real. They only exist because we allow someone that control over us.

Some things are real, of course. @HomeCrazzyHome, the land, the food we eat, especially that I grow myself, our clothes. And most importantly, people. Our family, friends, and community, especially. But for most of us, it takes things like pandemics, presidents, and snow storms to make us see the futility of those illusions. Sadly, many others never do. We cannot control that.

The only thing we can truly control is ourselves.

Not even our partners or children. Only our choices.

And whether you are the mother of a disabled child worried about her life in a pandemic, the son and grandson of cartel leaders, or a woman trapped in an abusive marriage, recognizing that you do have choices is the hardest battle of them all. It is so easy to blame our dysfunctional families, our governments, our jobs, our spouses (even the good ones). But our true power begins the moment we accept responsibility for the things we can do. Even if they are incredibly small.

Our choices matter. Individuals…We hold more power than anyone, including ourselves want to realize.

And I believe that things will begin to change when enough of us realize that. We are taught that it is majority rule, but that too is another illusion. The true power lies in the hands of a committed few, who change that tide. A critical mass of people who believe in hope and reconciliation. It’s how nuclear reactions work. And it’s how change happens.

We are almost there. In this story. And I believe that despite what we see in the news, in this world too.

So, what’s next?

I should finish up #TroubleTexasStyle if not by March 1st, then not long after.

I will have Solid Ground posted by the end of this month.

All the others books and series are now edited, formatted, and easily clicked through.

Then, I will begin to edit and post Rings of Fire…

Yeah, I know I need to update that video since I no longer write under the pen name Raquel Graffen. But that’s on my to-do list too.

I hope to have that finished by Spring Equinox (March 20th).

I will continue to write and post chapters in Reconciliation and the Apocalypse series Monday to Friday. I am still working out how and when. For those of you following me on Twitter or Facebook, I will post updates on the chapters daily.

Of course, I have our @HomeCrazzyHome to care for, our urban farm & homestead, as well as Alan and @PanKwake.

But I believe the power of #LiteraryErotica is to tell the truth in a way that is enjoyable. Yes, I want you to escape into my stories, but that escape is about painting a blueprint of a new reality. Back when I was married to the preacher, an evangelist once said that god could slap you the frying pan of truth and make you feel like you had been kissed with a feather. I wouldn’t say I’m god or that good, but I hope that is what my stories do.

See you, Monday for more kill’em. And that happy ever after that we all want. Even if it takes us a lifetime to find it. And trust me, it almost did in my case.

Goddess bless and keep you all safe & warm,

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