Sensual Saturday: Getting It Right…


After a string of the WRONG men or the occasional right one at the wrong time, I had completely given up on finding TRUE LOVE. After all…I was overweight…50+…and the single mother of an autistic child. No matter how good a cook I was. How a (cover your eyes for the easily offended) fuck I was. There was NO way that someone like me with all that baggage would find someone, right?

The thing is that Fate likes to throw you curve balls…things out of the blue when you least expect it.

So when I went online to find a ‘friend’ to go to the movies, museums or just for walks with on Sunday…I found the very thing that I had given up on. And trust me, folks, IF I ever wrote our story, no one would believe it.

The thing is that as an erotic-romance writer I have always felt we get it so wrong. We end the story just when it gets good…just when it is really beginning. This blog is about changing that. It is about taking a hard look at what goes into making a relationship work day-in and day-out.

And for once…I don’t feel like a fake. I don’t feel strange anymore when my married or partnered friends come to me for relationship advice. Because I finally have someone worthy of all that effort…those things that I have preached for so long to others. Things like:

  • Communication
  • Respect
  • Trust
  • Partnership
  • Honesty/Transparency
  • …and the list goes on.

Thing is that this one really does say it all…

Chance and Choice

And that choice is made day-by-day and sometimes moment-by-moment.

I should add one warning…for both the girls and the guys out there. The Christian Bible has a wonderful piece of wisdom…Do not cast your pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6). In this case, it takes TWO. One person alone cannot make a relationship work. And not everyone is worthy of the effort that goes into it.

I should know. I was the queen of that one. Trying to be the ‘perfect’ wife, mother and homemaker…with and for the wrong men. It was hard work…and in the end, it never worked out.

The thing is being with the RIGHT person (for you…that is the important bit…at least one of my exes was great…just not for me…so I passed him on to my best friend) makes it all seem easy.

What? Did you just say that a relationship was easy?

Yes…when you are with the right one.

Oh, don’t get me wrong…LIFE will never be easy. There is a reason that wedding vows say…for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. That is life. As I have always said…my core value…Life Sucks.

That makes the second part of that even more important…the only thing that makes it worth living is love.

For that reason…I LOVE this picture of me and Cookie Monster taken on the kiddie roller coaster at Legoland.

Funny Face

Yes…I look like shit. I did not wear makeup…what is the point with a long day at an amusement park with an autistic ten-year-old? I am tired and I look like crap. Two adults are crammed into a tiny car meant for kids…and both of us hate rides, especially roller coasters. But we did it…for PanKwake (as we do so many others things too).

We are holding on for dear life…to one another. There is no better metaphor for what a relationship is about.

You don’t need strife or arguments or fights with the person that you love…because life will provide you with enough of those. They are your partners…the one that you turn to when that hits…the one that by their mere presence makes it just a bit more bearable.

Sensual Saturday assumes that you are with that person…and that they value you as much as you value them. Then it is about simply little things that makes that ride a bit smoother and more enjoyable for you both.

And if like I was for sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long, you are in what Dr. Seuss calls the ‘waiting place’ (Oh the Places You’ll Go…look it up. BEST self-help and philosophy book out there)…then I hope you will take this on board until that ‘right’ person comes along.

So hold on tight to love, happiness and that right person…cause this roller coaster called life is a bumpy one.

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