Relax…no, you have not stumbled onto one of my Freaky Friday posts about kinky sex (that is tomorrow). This refers to a passage in Proverbs 31 that we looked at a couple of weeks ago as an example of the Perfect Woman…wife, 50s homemaker and submissive. This one is so important that it makes the top of the list…that should tell you something.
10 How hard it is to find a capable wife! She is worth far more than jewels! 11 Her husband puts his confidence in her, and he will never be poor. 12 As long as she lives, she does him good and never harm. (Good News)
I like the way that The Living Bible translates this one even better…
11 Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs. 12 She will not hinder him but help him all her life.
But the Expanded version goes even further by looking at not just various English and Latin versions of the bible but the original Hebrew as well…
11 Her husband ·trusts her completely [entrusts his heart to her]. With her, he ·has everything he needs [L lacks no plunder; C a military image].
12 She ·does [brings] him good and not ·harm [trouble; evil] for as long as she lives [L all the days of her life].
I’ll be honest…my kinky mind would go to town on verse 11. Richly satisfies his needs…has everything he needs… This is not a man who is having to get him some on the side to be ‘satisfied.’ But sometimes less is more…so I just challenge you to think about that one if it applies to you.
What I do want to focus upon is verse 12…does him good and not harm. We are not talking Lizzie Borden and hatchets here either. I am afraid women have a far more dangerous weapon in their arsenals.
And these days social media too. I always hate seeing public arguments on Facebook. He said, she says.
That’s right I am talking about not airing your dirty laundry to everyone. Because here is a secret…your friends and family will remember that shit long after you have forgiven and forgotten it. After all…they probably only got your side of it to begin with.
I get it though…like I said…women need to talk. It is how we think…outloud and by consensus. The thing is…WHO you talk to is important.
And it certainly does not need to be everyone you both know. His friends and family are off limits. Be weary of who among your friends too. Do they share the same values/beliefs as you do? (i.e. 50s lifestyle/traditional ones) If not then they are not likely to ‘get’ your situation.
I am lucky to have a couple of those types of friends…who know the most important thing of all…how to keep their mouths shut. We deal with our shit amongst ourselves and we keep it there. No spreading gossip, no talking behind one another’s back. We lean on one another in the best way and keep confidences. That is true friendship. And it has saved my bacon a couple of times…theirs too.
The truth is that all men are going to fuck up sometimes…so do you. But when he does it is not in anyone’s best interest to throw the dirt all over the place. Find that one or two trustworthy confidants and seek wise counsel. You will be glad you did when things blow over. And so will he…if he can entrust his heart to you.