As I began to discover and explore my submissive nature three years ago, I was shocked and surprised to learn that the 50s lifestyle was actually a fetish within the BDSM community. While I might have been a newbie, this was a facet of it that I was more than familiar with. It became one of my favs…and never more than now as I finally have the opportunity to live it 24/7.
Of course, I had grown up watching the interactions of REAL 50s couples but I had drifted away from those roots in my teens and early twenties. In my mid-to-late-twenties I was once more to encounter this phenomenon…in the Pentecostal church that my ex and I were involved in.
I think the happiest time of that thirteen year marriage was the month when the pastor did a series of sermons…’wives submit to your husbands.’ Unfortunately, I learned then as I have once more in the lifestyle…not every man is worthy of submission.
It was during this period though that I first was exposed to the ‘ideal’ woman/wife…and yes, sub. She was called the Proverbs 31 woman after the bible verse that details her qualities.
What was shocking to me though as I re-discovered that service sub side of myself is that there is a dearth of books on the subject…other than Christian ones. I purchased half a dozen of those though. But even being polytheistic and finding a bit of truth in most religions, I found it cumbersome to wade through the religious references. Despite what those books say, I find it exceedingly easy to submit to a man without first submitting to the Christian god.
Nonetheless, I do find this particular passage of the Old Testament (thus Judeo-Christian) one of the absolute best descriptions of that 50s/submissive woman. I kept coming back to it time and time again…especially of late as I struggle with portions of that role which were never relevant before.
As I began to formulate the underlying changes in this blog, I knew that it must play a part as well as the REAL women and men that had made such an impression upon me growing up. My ultimate aspiration is that these blogs will form the skeleton of book that ‘translates’ those passages into non-Christian terms.
So today, I begin simply enough by introducing you to ‘her’…the ideal wife…the perfect submissive…the epitome of womanhood…
10 How hard it is to find a capable wife! She is worth far more than jewels! 11 Her husband puts his confidence in her, and he will never be poor. 12 As long as she lives, she does him good and never harm.
13 She keeps herself busy making wool and linen cloth. 14 She brings home food from out-of-the-way places, as merchant ships do. 15 She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and to tell her servant women what to do.
16 She looks at land and buys it, and with money she has earned she plants a vineyard. 17 She is a hard worker, strong and industrious. 18 She knows the value of everything she makes, and works late into the night. 19 She spins her own thread and weaves her own cloth.
20 She is generous to the poor and needy. 21 She doesn’t worry when it snows, because her family has warm clothing. 22 She makes bedspreads and wears clothes of fine purple linen. 23 Her husband is well known, one of the leading citizens. 24 She makes clothes and belts, and sells them to merchants.
25 She is strong and respected and not afraid of the future. 26 She speaks with a gentle wisdom. 27 She is always busy and looks after her family’s needs. 28 Her children show their appreciation, and her husband praises her. 29 He says, “Many women are good wives, but you are the best of them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the Lord should be praised. 31 Give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone. (Good News, paragraphs breaks are my own.)
So if I have not pissed enough people off (the Christians for having the balls to use bible verses on MY blog and the rest of us for bringing religion into it) I am sure some feminist readers are ready to string me up just about now. But honestly I think that if they will stick with me in the weeks and months to come, even they will be surprised at how strong, intelligent and independent this Proverbs 31 woman was.
Besides I am not saying that this lifestyle is for everyone. That is the CHOICE they are always preaching. But this is MINE…and many other women who may benefit from this non-Christian interpretation of this passage. Or that is my hope anyway.