NOT!!! No way! There’s the door let the knob hit you were the good goddess split you. Here is a hard learned lesson…I am NO ONE’s dirty little secret. If you aren’t proud to be with someone as intelligent, strong and kind as I am, then I am so outta here. Period. Full stop for you Brits.
So when I saw this meme…I saw RED…
That is NOT love…that is USING you.
I don’t care if it is because of your tattoos/nose ring/purple hair, your weight or your kink. If a person is always hiding you from their friends and family…move the fuck on! Because if they aren’t proud of who you truly are, then they don’t deserve you.
Okay so MAYBE you gots to tone some things down a bit. Heck, even I was on my bestest behavior the first few times I met my future daughter-in-law. I did not want to scare her with my crazy until my son had his hooks in her. And even though she knows my crazy know…she loves me anyway. Because despite my kink and my weight, you won’t find many people who care more, love deeper or are there for you. And that is what truly counts.
I know this attitude is prevalent in the BDSM community where your kink and your vanilla life are kept separate sometimes. My first serious dom relationship…he would not even list our relationship on the kinky social media site. After a couple of months that should have been enough. And another dom (those are small Ds for a reason, folks), I had to change the sheets before I left. So his EX-wife did not find out. Yeah, that one got old and I told him where to stick it.
Contrast this with the man, who inspired my Ægir’s stories. We have never been anything more than friends with benefits. Our meetings have been few. But he truly is the captain of a merchant ship. On one of my visits, he ‘invited’ me to dine with him and the crew. What I did not realize was that meant on a raised dais at the Captain’s table with his crew looking on. And this was after me screaming so loudly in his cabin that half of them probably heard. But I tell you what…it felt damned good being shown off like some prize.
I am not saying that friends and family have to be involved from the beginning. Especially if children are involved. My PanKwake has met only two men in five years…and then only in passing. It takes time to know if something is going anywhere.
BUT if this is a pattern that lasts past the first couple of months…then my three month rule comes into play. Politely let them know how you feel. Either they correct it or for goddess sake…MOVE THE FUCK ON! Have more dignity than to allow someone to use you in secret like some worthless, disposable commodity.
This one is definitely another case of…