One of the questions that always appears on every depression questionnaire is…have you lost interest in sex?
I have been pretty upfront lately that I am battling hard not to slip into the deep abyss of the valley of the shadow that I was in seven years ago after my miscarriage. I feel trapped, hopeless and helpless. But everyday I go through the motions. As best I can…some days are better than others of course.
It helps that PanKwake needs me so much. I do not have the luxury of lying in bed all day. Crying in a fetal ball for hours. Those are simply not options for me.
So I battle back…doing all I can to keep my head above water…even if it is only treading it for now. I do my best to eat three meals a day…at least two of them at the table in my kitchen. I shower/bath almost every day. I try to get out of the house on every sunny day. I force myself to engage with friends. I focus upon my writing and building the future. Hell, I would even exercise if I had the time.
And I masturbate at least once a day…every day.
Even when I don’t feel like it.
That’s right, I treat my depression with orgasms. Happy O’s. Sex.
As I shared last Friday in the Power of Pain, when we do pleasurable things…especially sex…our bodies naturally produce the very chemicals that the doctors prescribe for us…dopamine and serotonin.
So when you argue…but I don’t feel like having sex/masturbating, I ask, “But you do feel like swallowing pills every day?”
Taking in synthetic form that which you have the power to produce naturally in your own body through exposure to sunlight, diet, exercise and yes, SEX. Side effects that at least for me are as bad or worse than the illness itself.
So if you are lucky enough to have some special…or just someone…quit turning them away. Banish the words…”I’m not in the mood.” Who cares if you are in the mood? Take it like you would that pill…because it is good for you…and them…your relationship.
For women that is easy…just spread your legs and let him do the work. Hell, you will likely find you even get into it.
It can be a bit harder for the guys. One of those side effects is often…impotence. Even then…you still have a tongue and ten fingers (ten toes too for the truly kinky). Toys! Hell, fruit and vegetables if you need. A hair brush. Get creative. Even if those first few times you don’t get hard or cum, making the woman (or man) you care about Happy will build your self-confidence.
And if like me…there is no one ‘regular’ in our life. Then you must make the difficult choice to love yourself enough to…take care of business.
It does not have to be every day…unless like me you have a high libido…or want that extra boost of neurotransmitters. But it does need to be regular. Toys…porn…my stories…whatever it takes too.
Here is something else to remember…you don’t even need to cum…orgasm…not every time anyway. Yes, there are some nights that even I fall asleep with numb fingers. The important thing is that the arousal…even if it is only a bit…gets those chemicals racing for channels in the brain. And if you do it regularly, you will find that it is easier to…finish…orgasm…CUM!
If you are skeptical or just plain old thing I am full of shit, then I challenge you…give it a try. A REAL one though…at least a month, better if it is two or three, after all that is how long doctors leave you on those meds before changing them or your dosage. Can’t you give a natural alternative at least that same chance?
After all…screw the apple a day, look where it got Snow White. I much prefer a Happy O a day keeps the shrinks away.