REAL Woman Wednesday: I AM a Feminist TOO…

A few days ago, a friend shared with me Emma Watson’s speech to the UN, ‘I’m a feminist.’  Now I am always sceptical when I hear that word. And I have a few issues with her speech, but overall it was better than the femi-Nazi, man-hating stuff I grew up on. Don’t get me wrong…I am a feminist too and I believe:

Not just in equal pay for men and women…but that nurses, teachers and waitresses (traditionally feminine roles) have the same VALUE as doctors, lawyers and bankers (traditionally male ones). And that their compensation packages should show that.

Like the youngest ever Nobel Peace prize winner Malala Yousafzai, I believe that education from birth to death is the right of every man, woman and child in this world. I echo her passion, “Even if they come to kill me, I will tell them what they are trying to do is wrong, that education is our basic right.”

I believe that every little girl deserves Legos and swords/guns if she wants. Go gamer girls, go…and that every little boy has the right to be a Disney princess, have a doll and a kitchen set.

I believe that women have significant contributions to make to fields such as mathematics and the sciences. As well as politics, medicine, the law…

I believe to my core that children, women and men should be safe from domestic violence, psychological abuse and rape. And yes, men too can be the victims of all those things.

Every childI support Planned Parenthood’s ideal…I believe in the free and easy access to birth control worldwide. I believe that if you are not old enough to talk about it, then you ain’t old enough to be doing it. And that contraception is a couple’s responsibility…not just the woman’s.

I believe that women should not have to fight for what is already their right…we were born equal to men.

I also believe…

That being equal is NOT about being the same. I am a woman. W-O-M-A-N. Not only does that mean there is something different between my legs and on my chest…it means my brain functions in a different way than a male. I have different ways of communicating, learning and working. Science and medical technology is revealing that women use different areas of their brains for problem solving than males. Not inferior…nor superior…COMPLIMENTARY.

Gender…masculine and feminine…is not about what is between your legs or on your 23rd set of chromosomes…it is more complex than that. As Emma Watson said in her speech, gender is a continuum. There is a bit of my feminine goddess in the most masculine conqueror that ever lived. And there is a bit of the masculine strength in my shieldmaiden.

I know, accept and respect the uniquely FEMININE gifts of nurturing, comforting and giving life in many ways. And I respect and welcome his gifts of protection, providing and cherishing. We are balance. Ying and yang. When we work together as compliments, things are just better. I am less without him…and he is less without me.

But the biggest problem I have with Emma’s speech is…before you invite men to the feminist agenda…how about feminists pull their heads out their (female anatomy) and invite the rest of us women. You know the ones that have exercised our free will CHOICE to fill the traditional role of wife and mother. How about mending bridges, filling the divide that the feminist movement created…and becoming one true sisterhood?

Because the rest of us are sick and tired of having our RIGHTS to choose caring, nurturing and looking after our families denigrated and made fun of in the media.

We are tired of femi-Nazis like Cherrie Blair calling us lazy and saying we set bad examples for our children (bitch, I CHALLENGE you to survive a single day of my life as a writer and single mother of an autistic child…without your cadre of nannies).

We are sick and tired of going to dinner parties where people ask, ‘so what do you do’, when we tell them we are stay-at-homes moms, they roll their eyes and change the subject.

We are angry at government policies that penalize the poor and working class for being a single income and make it the privilege of the wealthy only to raise their children.

So Emma before you go off on your HeForShe rant…clean the feminist household first. Break down the walls that exist between women. If feminism truly is about CHOICE then recognize than mine is just as valid as yours. Because let me tell you, we are tired of having things done in our name when we were NOT consulted. We have earned our place at that table.

We’re waiting for our invite to the table?


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