REAL Woman Wednesday: Kirsty

Yes, I know a character in one of my books is not technically a REAL woman, but this comment on the latest chapter of Ægir’s Wife deserves a REAL response…

…yet I don’t follow the rift at and after the club between Kirsty and Bjorn, or even why Greta had such a effect when Bjorn’s devotion and attraction to Kirsty was evident and proclaimed. Was it bc Bjorn didn’t succinctly tell Greta to get lost?

The answer is simple…when you look like this…


And spend a lifetime hearing comments about what a ‘cute’ girl you are and how if you just put some effort it into, watched what you ate and went to the gym more, you could ‘actually be pretty’ and you might be able to ‘find a man.’ That shit eats away at your brain like a worm at an apple. So that even if you are smiling and confident on the outside, on the inside you are rotten…or at least insecure.

That means IF a man does exist, who sees you for your heart and not your size 16/18 jeans, you find it hard to accept his love…because honestly you don’t love yourself. And when he looks like this…

Bjorn Windswept

Well, come on… of course it is virtually impossible to believe he actually loves and wants you. When he could have this?


The term is ‘batting above your average.’ And honestly, sometimes I feel guilty even writing about men like Bjorn, Mikael and Daniel (The Arrangement), who are DDG (drop dead gorgeous…a phrase Princess Diana coined for her boys) but are wise enough to look past the wrapping and judge the women in their lives for the most important things of all…

Their hearts…

Their minds…

Their souls…

Because in the shallow, appearance driven world in which we live, well I would say that such men are fictional.

But then I look at Captain America and Thor. Yes, if you judged strictly on appearances this girl is seriously batting above her average. And even though I am older, wiser and know my value so much more than Kirsty, let me tell you it still ain’t easy. Secret…ten days in America…seven of them sharing the same bed and making love twice a day at least…and I managed to never once get naked with Captain America. Not once!

So while technically speaking Kirsty Dickens may be a fictional character…those insecurities when faced with a rival that is everything you are not is very much REAL. You see the worst thing of all is that we learn to judge ourselves based upon the warped values of this society.

Kirsty only sees the size 18 written in the tags of her clothes, the muffin top that hangs over her sexy knickers/panties, and every single dimple of cellulite on her ass and thighs. Oh, and freckles and carrot top too…I forgot.

She does not see the heart that is big enough to truly, deeply love three men…not for their looks but for their pain and insecurities. Or to just step into recognize the needs of a little girl that was not her own and become the mother as well as the therapist that Monika needed. Or to take to their foreign land and unusual family and lifestyle like she was meant for it.

No, she sees none of that…only her ‘imperfect’ reflection in the mirror.

That is what our societal obsession with beauty and perfection is doing…and not just to our girls. I had to stop REAL Man Monday, because those hunky super models like I just guiltily posted as Bjorn…make even good looking men like Captain America and Thor insecure…even more so than us girls actually.

So I hope that fully answered Anonymous’s question…

It is also why I fight so hard against the overwhelming current of public opinion and convention…

Why I do REAL Woman Wednesday and why if you will send me selfies of male readers/husbands/boyfriends/brothers I want to go back to REAL Man Monday…

Why there is NOT a half naked body in sight on any of MY covers (anthologies don’t count cause I was outvoted)…

Because I want my girls to be able to believe and accept the love of REAL men like Bjorn…and my boys to see the women in their lives for the size of their hearts not their jeans. That may be a fictional world for now…but if enough of us believe in it…we can make it REAL.





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