For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. Forsaking all other until death do us part. You know the crap. As we pledge to love, honor and cherish/obey one other person for the rest of our lives. Except they forgot one…an important one. Always be available…my hands, my mouth, my cunt and sometimes my ass. Or fingers, tongue and cock as the case may be.
It seems to me that there is an epidemic, perhaps even a pandemic, of unfulfilled and unhappy marriages in Western society. I know we are so busy chasing after our big houses, new cars, designer clothes and latest gadgets that we are working fifty and sometimes sixty hours per week. The kids have to be fed, homework done and baths before bed.
We are tired, but come on, that tired…all the fucking time? But the number of wives and husbands, who are neglecting one of the most important parts of a good marriage, is ridiculous.
Feminism says that our bodies are our own and we should be able to decide, who and when or even if we want to share them at all. And yes, we should…when we are single.
But taking those vows means that you are placing the needs of another human being on equal footing with your own. It is not just your body anymore. You offer it…and your ears, your heart and your arms/shoulders to another human being…because you love them, because you want to spend the rest of your life with them.
So what happened? Why is it suddenly all right to be too tired? Not interested? Not feeling up to it? What gives you the right to be a selfish little bitch/bastard and deny this person that you supposedly love the comfort they need?
And why is it that it is the partner, who still has a healthy libido, is always to blame? Why does understanding mean that we must go without, while you happily continue on your merry, selfish little way with all the benefits of marriage and none of the responsibilities?
Enough is enough. It is time for a wake-up call, folks. Marriage (or any other form of commitment) is a two way street. And sex is a HUGE part of that. If you want to keep your body and your comfort to yourself, fine…then get a divorce.
Because honestly, you have already…an emotional one. If you can lay in bed beside someone that you know you are hurting and not care, then you have stopped loving that person. Let them go, so they can find someone to love them, someone that respects their physical needs as well as the emotional ones.
One thing I like about the lifestyle is the idea of a contract between Dom/sub or Master/slave. I love the openness, honesty and clear set of expectations that contract embodies. And while I might have said those ‘vows,’ twice even, they are far easier to break, primarily because of the ambiguity in them. Not so with any contract I ever sign…it will be clear.
‘My body belongs to you for whatever comfort you may need. My mouth, my hands, my cunt, yes, even my ass is yours for the taking. Because we are two halves of a whole and I love and trust you to never hurt me, to want only what is best for me, for us.’ All right, you may say common enough submissive shit.
But that too is a two-edged sword, because my Master’s pledge is no less binding, ‘My body belongs to you for whatever comfort you may need. My fingers, my tongue, and my cock is yours anytime that you have need of them. Because we are two halves of a whole, your needs above even my own. I pledge to cherish you, I want only what is best for you, for us.’
So the next time that your husband/wife, Master/slave, Dom/sub, or even boyfriend/girlfriend comes to you for sex, stop and think for a moment…what message am I sending him/her about how I feel about them? Why are my needs more important than theirs? Do I still love them as much as I say? Or is it time to set them free to find happiness?
Sex is important folks. And with the exception of some pretty nasty health problems, not something that we have the right to withhold. Ever. Because the hard truth is that it hurts like hell to be rejected by the one person that stood beside you and made those same promises. It isn’t fair…like the saying goes…shit or get off the pot, folks!