Well, sort of anyway. I started ANOTHER Facebook fight over the absolutely STUPID shit that you see on there. Don’t get me wrong…most of it I just let go. Like water off a ducks back. But sometimes there is something just so f’ing wrong that I cannot. Last night was one of those times, when I saw this post on a friend’s feed…
With a comment about ‘parenting done right.’ I could not let one go…
Because this is just WRONG on so many levels!
Let’s begin with the most obvious…I tried to be a good dad this Christmas and gave my kids… NO! Buying your children’s love is not being a ‘good dad.’
Now any of my friends, who have seen PanKwake’s room may call me a hypocrite, because between me and her dad that child gets pretty much everything she wants. But she also has what she really needs…ME, my love, my time, my attention, my care.
For any parent to think that the latest gadgets can make up for those things…well, it is no wonder that his children have no respect for him or their mother.
On to the next point, and where our self-serving religions and societies get it SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Wrong. You do not owe your parents, grandparents or elders ANYTHING! This whole idea of grumpy old men/women is bad. No one gets a pass on being a decent human being just because they have sucked air, consumed food, water and other precious resources at an unsustainable pace.
Everyone deserves basic courtesy…whether you are three or ninety-three, the queen or a homeless man. BUT NO ONE DESERVES RESPECT THEY HAVE NOT EARNED! That is brainwashing…plain and simple.
And while we are on the subject of abuse…if you teach your child that ALL adults deserve ‘respect’ then you are setting them up for abuse. That is the very lie that pedophiles masquerading as teachers, priests and Scout leaders rely upon to perpetrate their abuses. They are adults in authority so of course they are to be respected and trusted. Not this girl!
You see I believe that you reap what you sow. If you want children, who respect you, then show them respect. If you want them to apologize, then you model that by apologizing to them when you are wrong. If you want them to be compassionate, then take the time to show them that by not just tossing a couple of coins to the homeless man, but by smiling and speaking him like the human being he is. In short…LEAD BY EXAMPLE!
Yesterday was PanKwake’s tenth birthday. Double digits, I am devastated, where has my baby gone? We went to the aquarium as a family with her older sister, brother and his fiancé. And I realized something…I am an utter failure and complete success as a mother.
What? No, you heard me right. In case you have not guessed yet…I am about as unconventional, free-thinking a person as there comes. Yet, I have produced four, count them, FOUR totally responsible, mainstream adults. One is in the Navy. Two are teachers or studying to be…and I homeschooled them and PanKwake! And even the one that social workers told us would never be able to live on his own or hold a full-time job…does both. Not a true rebel among them to follow in Mommy’s unusual footsteps.
Hell, my older daughter was twenty-two before she lost her virginity. You know what she had the audacity to tell me? That it was all my fault. For taking all the mystery out of it. Maybe someone should tell that to the Pallin woman before her ‘chastity preaching daughter pops another one out without benefit of marriage? (Not that I have a problem with that…just with hypocrisy.)
BUT if my measure of success is producing independent, free-thinking adults capable of making their own choices in this life. Well, I have done one of those Robinhood style bulls-eyes. Not once, not twice, but four times. Besides there are still two in the process…maybe I will get my hell-razing rebel yet? My gay/lesbian/transgender? Outspoken animal-rights protester, who chains her/him-self to trees? Who has purple hair, body-art and piercings in unusual places? Funny to think that being a free-thinker in my family makes you a conservative teacher?!?
So back to that advert. Here is what I have to say to that ‘man’:
If you call your children…little bastards, shits and brats…online for the whole world to see, YOU DON’T DESERVE THEM. Children are a blessing, privilege and responsibility. Not your right. If you don’t have the time, patience or will to love and care for them, then don’t have them. Leave that honor to those of us, who do.
I know that some of you will have a strong visceral reaction to what I have said here today. But spend some time thinking about the points I made. We live in the most amazing time in history with medical technology, sciences and research into psychology and child development we have blueprints for producing a happier, more self-aware and responsible generation than ever before.
Yet we are doing just the opposite! Why?
Between that and your own mindless greed and need to consume…we are failing not just ourselves, but our children.
This man certainly was when he tried the traditional way of ‘buying’ his children’s love. At best it can only be rented…and then the cost is exceedingly high.
I hope a parent or two will think long and hard about the ‘way things have always been done.’ And if you are not yet a parent…think about that too. If you are not committed to being a new and more enlightened one…maybe you should allow someone else the privilege of producing and raising your 2.1 necessary to ‘sustain’ the human race. Just think about it, folks.