I was chatting with a friend yesterday about a couple of bumps in her relationship. She is a switch with a Dom and sometimes she has a tiny bit of trouble submitting. I sent her to my other Sensual Saturday post #1 Thing That All Men Need.
But the example that she gave on one of their issues had me reaching even further back in my mind for a poem that I wrote over three years ago. It is about communication. The type of communication that you need to make any relationship work…but especially Dom/sub.
So Liv this is for you, sweetie:
Transparency
I wear my heart on my sleeve
I always have
And I get hurt because of it
A lot.
I give and I give
And I give
Without asking for anything
Because it is who I am.
I want to please
No, I need to please
Others say it is wrong
But I do it anyway.
I read something today
about the difference between
Honesty and transparency
And I thought…that’s what I want.
I want to love
I want to give
I want to please
And I want it all with you.
I need to feel safe though
Too many hurts haunt my dreams
Too many rejections to count
And I’m not sure I could handle that with you.
How’s that for transparent?
It’s really scary
Laying it all out like that
Wondering…is it safe?
But that’s the difference between
Honesty that tells you only what you ask
And transparency that hides nothing from you
And above all that’s what I want…with you.
Tara Cox - Literary Erotica 
Oh Tara, you are killing me woman! Simply killing me. I don’t know how you do it, but I think you should be a therapist. Except, I want you to know right now, I refuse to pay $150 an hour for your feedback. I’m going to try your transparency. In fact, I’m going to directly ask him if he wants me to be honest, or to be transparent with him about my feelings and thoughts. Either way, I’m going to tell him exactly how I feel about “our little issue.”
If nothing else, I’m glad my relationship bumps provide you fodder for your blog. I’m sure I will be of future help too…especially if this experiment in transparent communication takes a quick left and we end up in Kentucky. (That’s what we say to each other when one or both of us is taking our conversation in a direction that most likely will not be productive if we continue.)
p.s. I loved the blog: Things That All Men Need. That information was a nice reminder, although, I have to say, I do R-E-S-P-E-C-T him greatly and he returns it in my favor also. I also love your comment in today’s blog, “sometimes she has a tiny bit of trouble submitting”….LOVE it!!! xo
Yeah well I am the one that ended up with a RED ass by being transparent. Go figure….