If today’s REAL Man looks familiar there is a reason. I used Captain America a couple of weeks ago when I came back from visiting Him. But something happened that week, which I feel stole the show from Him. And if anyone deserves their moment in the spot light, it is Captain America…and not just because He is one half of the perfect poly Dom team. But because of all that He has done, battles still and simply is. Rather than boring you with the same old stuff from last time, I thought I would get REAL with you and share why I not only love this man but RESPECT Him.
Almost three years ago we met online (yes, that naughty fetish site…where else?). We became friends because His son and my daughter had both just been diagnosed with high-functioning autism (Asperger’s). He was in a pretty bad place then. His marriage had just ended…and His ex-wife had remarried almost immediately. He could not work because of the PTSD and the brain injury He had sustained in Iraq. He was living with His parents because of course it is not enough to fight for your country when you get back you have to fight it just to get the benefits that should be yours.
But through all of that I saw the courage, the warrior spirit that had led Him to become a Marine. Of course, I was attracted to Him. Just look (stole other pics He don’t know about…like I tell Him…’so spank me’).
I remember thinking…IF I could write a hero for me, he could not be as perfect as This guy. But the age difference and my body image issues loomed over me. I finally did though take a risk and asked…’would I stand a snow balls chance in hell with you?’
But the time was not right. Long distance relationships are tough. That time the distance was too much for us. We drifted apart. Occasionally, we would still message just to find out how He was doing. Those messages became rarer though and when I entered another ill-fated relationship, we stopped talking for a year.
I could never forget Him. Then one morning I was on that site…something I had not been in months. I saw that He was online. I could not resist…just as a friend of course. It was instant…like no time had passed. We quickly caught up…and I was awed about the progress He had made, the battles He had fought.
Things of course progressed from there. We began messaging almost every day. Then we started talking (goddess bless Skype voice). Things were not easy. There were misunderstandings…miscommunications. Long distance still sucks. And honestly, if not for Thor’s friendship and constant reminders that guys think differently, we might have drifted apart again. That is the power of poly…even BEFORE we were REALly poly.
So WHY is Captain America worth a second time on REAL Man Monday? Why do I respect this man more even than I love Him?
Because through it ALL…
- Undiagnosed Asperger’s that made His teen years a nightmare and horror story…
- Finally finding His place in the U S Marine Corps…
- Only to have it all blown away in Iraq, losing half his platoon, his mentor and good friends…
- Battling Survivor’s Guilt, PTSD and a Traumatic Brain Injury…things that will NEVER go away…
- Coming home to an ex-wife that was emotionally and at times physically abusive (because for Captain America…a man never hits a woman, not even in self-defence)…
- Losing not just His marriage but daily contact with the children that were literally His only reason for existing then…
- Having to fight the VA for the benefits that should have just been His by right…
Hell, just waking up every morning with ALL of that on His shoulders and finding the courage to battle on under what would break most of the rest of us. For all of that I RESPECT Him even more than I love Him…and that’s a hell of a lot, folks.
He has come so fucking far in the years we have been friends. And I admire that warrior spirit that sustains Him. Sometimes I think I dreamed Him into life…
I began writing Sergeant Mike’s Miracle Tour over a year before I met Him, but it is His story. He even helps me fact check it, though I won’t let Him read it lest it trigger the PTSD. Maybe one day though.
I mentioned in Sensual Saturday that there was a moment that would have made the perfect ending to our romance novel. It went something like this…(Had to fictionalize it because it is just too intense to share otherwise).
Tara inhaled deeply. Peace, completeness, home. How long had it been since she had felt those things? Her vision of tranquil forested country side that had her day-dreaming of log cabins and fires blurred as unshed tears filled her eyes. Was it being home…her country? Was it the new friends she had made?
No, it was Him. This man that had been her friend for so long. And now her lover.
She looked across at Him. Was this even REAL? Or simply another of her stories? ‘If it is…please goddess never let this one end,’ she thought.
He glanced from the road and smiled. Her heart skipped a beat. Tenderly He brought her hand that was resting, entwined with His, on the console between them to His lips. He brushed a kiss across the back of her knuckles. His moustache and beard tickled just a bit, just as they did when He pressed His lips to hers.
“You’ve done more for me in ten days than the doctors or even my friends could in five years.”
No, Captain America, it is all YOU. My Marine. My warrior. My friend. My lover. My Dom.
It is so easy for life to get any of us down. And goddess knows, this man has faced shit that would break most of us. But it did not Him. Like His Marine sword, those fires only tempered and strengthened His character.
And it is that strength, that character, that fighting spirit that makes Him worthy of a second look…not only in my life but as REAL Man Monday. Because there does not get anything more REAL than all that He has conquered. You are and always will be a REAL live Super Hero to me…
Tara Cox - Literary Erotica 