Location…location…LOCATION!
That is not just good advice when selling real estate. It don’t work too bad when you are trying to shake things up sexually either. Hell, it is one factor that can spice up even vanilla sex.
Yeah, sure I get that beds are comfortable…an easy place to do the deed…get nasty…then so easy to just roll over and go to sleep cuddled or spooned up together. But come on, folks, that shit can get boring. Sometimes the easiest way to shake things up is simply to change your location.
You can keep things simple if you are risk averse. There are other places inside the house that you can try…the living room sofa (yes, that stuff washes out…easier than red wine so don’t go giving me that excuse because I bet you drink wine on it?)…kitchen counter tops…or the shower…Those are the easy ones…
Here are some other slightly kinkier ideas for role play…
Do a Monica… If your partner has an office, especially a home one, dress up…conservative like except no panties. Carry a stack of bills or those horrid mailers in. Bat your eyelashes and say…Is there anything else Mister President? If that don’t work then drop them, bend over to pick them up and make certain he sees that you ain’t gots no panties. Go with it from there…bonus points for blue dresses and cigars… But please ladies…remember good girls clean up their messes. I always did wonder why there were stains on that dress to begin with?
50s housewife to the extreme… Send the kids to friends for this one. Then find that old set of pearls or go get a fake set at the 99 cent store, an apron, high heels, stockings and a smile. Meet him at the door with a beer, scotch on the rocks or his fav drink. Kiss his check and whisper, ‘How was your day, dear?’ Of course, a relaxing bath, dinner and a massage only make this fantasy better.
Check under my hood… Seriously, if the man is working in his man cave/garage, all the time…show up unexpected (do I need to remind you to forget the panties?)…ask him what is wrong…wink and whisper ‘How much is that gonna cost me? Do you take it out in trade?’ Okay so motor oil don’t come out as easy as biological stains so don’t wear a good suit/dress, but I am sure you have something in the closet that you were going to give to charity anyway?
Cheer this, buddy… Yes, it is football season and let me be clear…this one is ONLY for half time, girls. Do not make your man choose between the big game and you. But having said that…buy a set of pom-pom from the 99 cent store or make them yourself of old newspaper, find your shortest skirt (shame on you if you ain’t got one…back to that charity bag and cut one off then), a tight/too small sweater and this time instead of just forgetting the panties…the bra too. Now go cheer his team on. With your lips!
So here is the challenge for this weekend, folks…try one of these. If you are too shy to comment then send me an email at taraneale@virginmedia.com. Better yet…share YOUR ideas…we can’t wait to hear them, ya’ll.
Tara Cox - Literary Erotica 