Sensual Saturday…

If yesterday was not HOT enough for you with Freaky Friday, today we continue the trend with something just a tad more intimate…the perfect massage for Sensual Saturday.

One of the things I LOVE doing most for the men I care about is a massage after a long hard day or week at the office. But there is more to that perfect massage than simply oil and hands like that female fantasy of rose petals leading to a candle lit bedroom with sweet love songs and a sexy naked man waiting, this one involves setting the stage. But if you have not figured it out yet, girls, rose petals don’t do much for guys. To set the scene perfectly I think of the three F’s of what every man wants…Feed’em, Fuck’em and Shut the Fuck-up. So let’s see how that one plays out in our perfect massage scenario.

To begin with one of the lost arts of the 50s homemaker is how to greet your man at the door. Now, of course, this will depend upon your situation. If it is just the two of you, stockings, heels, pearls and an apron is appropriate attire. But if there are kiddies involved some decorum must be had until they are in bed. Appropriate attire then depends upon you, him and your situation…but perhaps a nice dress, combed hair…and maybe a light dusting of tastefully done make-up(I said maybe as I rarely wear the stuff but might on this occasion just to let him know something special was coming). Oh, and think June Cleaver in Leave It to Beaver…have his favorite drink in your hand as you kiss him at the door. Be that a cold beer, glass of red wine or even glass of water, juice or soda. All else fails…Scotch, ladies.

Now where we usually fail is that final F…shut the fuck up. Most of the time, when he walks in that door, we hit him immediately with everything that happened in our day. EVERYTHING! Being the mother of an autistic child, I have learned quite a bit about something called sensory overload. So I know when my beloved PanKwake is becoming overstimulated or has a meltdown…the worst thing I can do is talk. The old saying silence is golden. And here is a secret ladies..after a long day at work and commute, most men (hell most people) are in sensory overload. Don’t believe me? Take the Tube in London between four and seven.

The only words you say are…How was your day, dear? Then follow that 3rd F…shut the fuck up. Now if you are like most of us, he is going to look at you like you just grew two more heads. Perhaps he is so tired, he only grunts. In any case, until you have done this a few times (I recommend making it a once a week thing for maximum effect), he is unlikely to say more than…All right. Don’t be discouraged…Rome was not built in a day, girls.

Next step is…dinner. But that is a post all in itself…

After dinner (oh, I recommend feeding him yourself…while kneeling at his feet), draw him a bath. Now guys may not like bubble baths, although you could be surprised at how many do, a nice soak in the tub scented with some manly smelling oil is just what it takes to begin loosening up even the toughest knots in those muscles. Again…you do the washing. EVERYWHERE, ladies…everywhere means there too. Then use not just a towel but one of those big plush bath sheets to dry him off…head to toe or toe to head.

Now we FINALLY get to that massage. And no rose petals, but his favorite music (even heavy metal if played really low?) and low light whether that is a lamp or candles is up to you…or better yet…him. Strip him naked and have him lie face down on the bed. The next thing is that earlier question…head to toe or toe to head. This is one of those that has no right answer. Do though let him make that choice. The one thing to say is that most of us focus upon those shoulders and upper back that are problem areas, but do not begin there.

If going head to toe, then begin at the head. Use a manly scented oil like sandalwood or musk…my fav is one I make myself of frankincense and myrrh. If he is prone to headaches then a few drops of Valerian or Verbena oils massaged firmly but gently into the temples before spreading your fingers like spider’s legs crawling across his whole scalp will relax him enough that those tense neck and shoulder muscles will more easily respond to your touch.

If going toe to head then those feet are magical. A firm touch should avoid any chance of the tickle affect unless he is overly sensitive. Take the heel into the palms of both hands and begin working your way towards each and every tootsie. Make him laugh by playing a sexy version of this little piggy even. And for the brave among us…get your mouth and tongue involved…after all you just bathed him yourself so everything is nice and edible…everything. Pay special attention to the arch of his foot that like those shoulders can take a real beating and carry loads of his stress.

Likewise, do NOT forget the hands and fingers. As with the feet, these are both blessed as an erogenous zone and cursed as a place that can store house our stress and the aches and pains of work be that typing all day at a computer or heavy labor. Just as with the foot, cradle his hand with both hands…rest it between your tits even as you work from wrist to finger…wrist to finger…wrist to finger…wrist to finger…and wrist to thumb. This time there is no excuse not to give each finger a kiss and suckling tease.

Either direction you go, the key is to take your time. There is a reason that professional masseurs are booked in hour blocks. There is no rush. If you fingers or hands start to cramp that is fine you are no professional so you are free to switch things up with gentle kisses, long licks and softly blowing your breath across his skin while you give your own hands a break.

You may discover that you never make it to his front because he starts to snore. That is all right. Lightly massage his whole back to make sure that all the tension is relieved and released. Then curl up next to him, wrapping yourself and the blanket over you both. Trust me…he will wake up with other things that need relieving and be so grateful for your special massage that well…I’ll let you discover for yourself how that goes.

And if he does not fall asleep…well…do I really need to tell you how much fun ‘massaging’ the front can be?