Thoughtful Thursday…

As I thought (ha-ha) about what to write for this first Thoughtful Thursday, the obvious answer was…why do you write? It is not only the foundation of my relationship with you, my reader, but something that I have been giving a lot of thought to lately.

In yesterday’s REAL Woman Wednesday, you got a taste of my writing history…that I have been doing this almost as long as I have been reading. And that my stories are often inspired by people I meet, places I go or real life events. I think that is true of most writers though. So today I want to go just a bit deeper than that and talk about why I actually write and what my aspirations for it are.

So why do I write? I went looking for quotes from other writers on this one…and found so many that I loved, but the simple truth is…I write because I was born this way. Just as I was born primarily submissive. Just as some people are born gay, lesbian or transgender. Just as my precious PanKwake was born autistic. Just as some people are born brown or tan. I write because it is who I am. And…

Of course, that is not to say it is easy. Like my other job, motherhood, it has impossibly long hours, no vacations and for now at least very little pay. I struggle sometimes to find time and balance those two demands, but still I go on. Yesterday was a prime example. I went to bed last night feeling as if I had accomplished NOTHING. Why, you ask? Because despite meeting all of her very demanding needs, I had written NOTHING. Thus I felt like NOONE. That is what it means to be a writer.

It gets more complicated when you think about writing as a job though. This has been where I have been stuck for a couple of years now. Trying to turn what I love into something that pays…without selling out. That is complicated. It has been especially thought provoking recently. For instance, in a writing group recently another author asked what your goals as a writer were? To write professionally, to pay a couple of bills here and there, or to do it because you love it. The thing is I don’t think that way. I teach my children…do what makes you happy and success will follow.

Does that mean I don’t care about the money? No. I wish I could be like Henry David Thoreau and go live in the woods by Walden Pond. The thing is that no one can these days. Even then you have to have enough money to buy your little piece of paradise. And pay taxes on it every year.

What it does mean though is that I recognize that my path to that ‘success’ may take a bit longer, be a bit windier and more uphill than someone who follows the rules of publishing success. But to me…I cannot do it any other way. And I do believe it will happen…in the end. Because…

So there you have my thoughts on writing. Am I condemning others? Calling them sell outs? NO! I do not have to walk in their shoes, live their lives. I have only to live and write my own. And know that this is the right path for me.

So breathe easy…I have more stories to tell than there are hours left in my life. And even if that ‘success’ never happens, writers keep writing because that is who they are and not merely what they do. It is just that both writers and readers have never been more blessed to have access to a medium for sharing their work than the Internet and indie publishing. So yes, there will be loads more Tara Neale for as long as there is breath in my less than ‘perfect’ body.

Now I need your help…I need a question on sex for tomorrow’s Freaky Friday. And another on making love/sensuality for Sensual Saturday. You may do so by commenting here or if too embarrassed email me at taraneale@virginmedia.com.